p.s. one thing you will need to know – see the little tag that says ‘pull’? Simply click on that and it will open up a whole realm of new opportunities. Don’t actually ‘pull’ it. Nothing will happen – one of the little works of progress. Fran x

Do you ever walk away from something without seeing it for what it is?

I do.

Often.

Then when I am looking for something completely unrelated, it finds me. Like it was always supposed to. To tell me – ‘look what you missed!’.

This image found me this morning. I was looking for a photo of Leo and this found me instead.

I remember this moment. It was early morning in our old house. I had noticed the shadow of the flowers. The blinds. The dappled light. I thought it would be fun to pop on Instagram. That was 273 days ago. 558 Instagram images ago.

It has taken 273 days and 558 Instagram images to discover that at some stage while I was obsessing with capturing a perfectly defined shadow of flowers and blinds (?) and light spots, my daughter stepped into the frame unnoticed, for just a moment, and gave me this:

How did I not see it? How many other images sit amongst the hundreds of thousands of images on my computer unseen? What might folders from 10 years ago have to show me?

I feel a little exploration coming on :)

One afternoon, before the flu popped in and decided to stay, I was out hanging some clothes on the line when I heard my two munchkins giggling and singing. ‘Helicopter, helicopter turn around…’ Peeking my head around the corner I saw the two of them, arms intertwined, hurtling themselves around in circles. As is usually the case in my world, the photographer in me sternly told the mother in me to hush. ‘Don’t interrupt them. Don’t tell them to be careful or stop – run for your camera!’ My phone was closer. I didn’t want to miss the moment so phone camera it was to be.

I can’t tell you how much I love these images. They are so far from perfect – they transcend perfection for me. My two babes, loving on each other. Playing beautifully, free of toys. Just each other. Lots of laughter. Better than perfection.

Poppy and Leo have always been close and we have always recognised how fortunate we are in this regard. They dote on each other and are fiercely protective of each other, especially when in trouble! Only this morning when DJ was looking like he was going to be less than thrilled with Leo, Poppy piped up with ‘but daddy, he’s siiiicccck…’ I love how much they adore each other. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments when they don’t agree and arguments result, but these moments are usually because Leo wants Poppy to play yet another of his games and she is more interested in drawing or creating. Or when I, perhaps unfairly, ask Poppy to help get Leo organised in the morning to avoid being late and he just wants to play. I’ve learnt that creating that dynamic just leads to frustration and trouble. Otherwise, it is the general rule that having two of them around is easier than one and watching them play together puts a smile on my face.

The joy I feel at looking at these images is second only to the joy I felt at watching it unfold in front of me. Another reason why my phone is a preferred capture device these days – there is less to fuss with, less to be distracted by, more opportunity to continue to be in the moment rather than just watch it through a viewfinder. So, despite the blur, the noise and the over/underexposure, the perfection of these images delights me. It is in the way Poppy reaches out to her brother. The way he looks up at her his eyes alight. The laughter. The unscripted play. The dirty knees. The way Leo pokes his tongue out when he is concentrating. The precious moments of stillness amongst the otherwise constant movement. Even the look of longing and sadness on Leo’s face as he watches his beloved dog Ceilidh chomp on something precious left discarded for too long on the grass (lesson not learnt it seems, since ten minutes later it was something else).

There is magic in these images for me. They are the real images of their childhood. And of my motherhood.

Two Friday afternoon’s ago I packed up my overnight case, my camera and my anxiety about night driving and jumped in a car with two of my oldest friends. We drove 7 hours and 30 minutes down the road to see another of my oldest friends and meet her new baby boy. It was such a wonderful weekend, totally worth every tummy flutter on the 7 hours and 30 minutes journey.

There is something amazing about watching someone you laughed and cried your way through awkward school years with becoming a mum and a natural at that. There is also something wonderful about a weekend away with friends that you may only see once every few months if you are lucky. You know, the ones you can pick up the conversation with like it was just five minutes ago that you last spoke. The ones that don’t think you are odd for wanting to transport three bunches of lavender 7 hours and 30 mins back up the road. Relaxing and rejuvenating and just plain fun.

We were only there for 36 hours before we left again, but coming home was easier being all day driving and this time only took 6 hours and 25 mins (have I mentioned how long it took us to get there?). My iPhone got a workout in both directions, indulging my obsession with pretty little square images. Remembering the coordinates of places we just had to stop at for a photo on the way home may well have driven everyone crazy, but that is the great thing about my oldest friends – they love me regardless : )

The road to Nabiac is stunning, as is Nabiac itself. If you haven’t been you certainly should. There is nothing there to see but beautiful landscape (or the National Motorcycle Museum if that floats your boat), a couple of crowded vintage stores, farmer’s market, cattle sale and an end of the month junk sale. You can buy a corned beef or egg sandwich there for $2.00. Perfect. We will be returning soon, via a flight to Newcastle and a one hour and 30 minute drive ; )

We haven’t had a lot of sun lately, so when it did pop it’s radiant face out from behind the clouds last Tuesday afternoon, Poppy and I took the opportunity to play outside. Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons Poppy and I have a couple of stolen hours together before we collect Leo from daycare. Often I have a work project to finalise and Poppy will keep me company while doing some quiet crafting or reading. Every day, on our walk home, she asks if I have work to do. It is a happier skip home on the day I say ‘no’.

On this afternoon of no work I picked up my camera while she practised story ‘retelling’, recounting her favourite part of Anne of Green Gables to her dolly. It is the bit she constantly rewinds and rewatches when we watch the movie and the chapter she asks for when we pull out my old and well read edition of the book. Happily (the synchronicity makes me smile), it is the bit when Anne is retelling The Lady of Shallot. I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to watch my daughter’s love of reading grow and of course, it makes me even happier that she loves the stories that kept me company when I was young.

In these quiet moments together Poppy is carefree and at ease. I love that the cheeky side of her is the most prominent and that she is not tied up in knots of anxiety about how she is perceived by others. She is happy to chat away about the things she is learning and how she understands them. She plans gifts for friends and her teacher. The same gifts that she will have to muster every single piece of courage she has just to bestow them upon their intended recipient. It is heartbreaking to see her feel so frozen and unable to be herself because of the anxiety that certain situations create for her, but to her enormous credit she continues to challenge herself. Despite knowing that she will have to do something that she finds near on impossible she continues to create artwork and gifts that will need to be passed on and she takes images of family outings to school to present for show and tell. She gets excited about birthday parties to which we will arrive and spend an unknown length of time with her clinging to me until finally she feels able to let go of my hand and hold the hand of a trusted friend instead.

In order to understand how Poppy feels I imagine myself walking into the biggest and most intimidating networking event I can dream up. I do not know anyone at this event and I have to join a group and make intelligent conversation about a topic that I know nothing about. Fear of humiliation. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of being thought ’silly’. Except Poppy knows everyone in the room and still she feels sick and anxious with the fear. Heartbreaking. There is much light though, especially in her own willingness to be strong and do impossible things. We have also learnt a few tricks along the way that help. Just a few weeks ago I dropped her off to her first violin lesson with a teacher she had never met. I introduced them and left. Big.Small.Step.

Watching Poppy grow and learn this year has been like watching a butterfly unfold her wings and leave her cocoon behind. We have such a long way to go but I see my little girl get a little bit braver everyday and everyday that is enough. More than enough.

This lovely hour spent together ended with dancing and twirling, as all of the loveliest times most certainly do.

Fran x

If you had told me three years and nine months ago that I would be the mother of a girl and a BOY I would have laughed at you. Long. and. Hard. In fact, when the sonographer did tell me I was having a boy I did laugh and asked her to check again. The way she explained the scan image to me was rather amusing:

‘Imagine you are in the toilet looking up (yes, she asked me to imagine myself floating around in a giant toilet bowl). See that line? That line is a leg. See That line? That line is also a leg. That line there? That line is NOT a leg’.

Shocked does not begin to describe how I felt. I always, always thought I would be the mother of two girls. I am not entirely sure why, but it was just what I had always imagined. My mum had three girls before a boy!

Having Leo has totally confirmed and denied my suspicions about being the mother of a boy. I could never have anticipated the joy of such a thing. In my head I thought messy, noisy, smelly and destructive. Leo, my boy, is all of those things in a very BIG way; digging in dirt and the presentation of a muddy ‘coffee’, constant rambles and singing (c.o.n.s.t.a.n.t) and food everywhere but in his mouth at the dinner table. He also loves nothing more than playing with machinery based toys and making their noise. LOUDLY. But oh my gosh, he is also so much more than I ever imagined a boy would be. He is unbelieveably loving and snugly beyond words. While Poppy withdraws when she has been reprimanded about something, Leo’s way is to need a cuddle until he is sure you are no longer ‘cross’. He is unbelievably switched on to the way people feel and is never far away if a comforting cuddle is needed. His imagination is incredible. His super hero persona is ‘EO MACK’ and he ‘fixes people’. He is equal parts obsessed with diggers and cleaning tools (give him a mop and he is in heaven), hairdressing and medical practitioning. He sleeps with a cuddly rabbit, dog and a toy drill. If you asked me what I thought he was going to be when he grows up I would say he will have the cleanest hairdressing salon in town, in a building he built himself where he fixes his own equipment and gives great medical advice. He is that awesome.

Leo has cemented my approach to photography. My little business has always been built on the value of ‘capturing all that we are’, and I have always been intrigued by what makes people’s lives extraordinary – the things they love and believe in and the moments that bring them joy; the ones you can imagine them retelling in years to come. I love nothing more than hearing from clients that I captured that funny face their child stopped doing a few months later. They are the moments I want to capture. Moments when personalities shine. Having a boy in the house makes me shoot that way more! If I waited for my boy to give me ‘the perfect shot’ that has formed in my mind I would still be waiting… but, my little ball of energy gives me more than the perfect shot. He reminds me of the beauty of capturing life as it happens, no posing, no set up location. Just him, enjoying whatever it is he is doing. I loved that about photography before Leo and I love it even more now.

One of my favourite things to do is to photograph boys in the context of their families. I love the energy, the bravado and the silliness, but most of all, I love how those things are also tempered by softness in the presence of their loved ones. A soft kiss on a little sister’s cheek, a cuddle for mum and dad; they all tell me something about the way boys love and that I could capture forever.

So, why am I telling you this, in my first post in close to TWO years? Well, today you will also find my face and voice over on the very imaginative and fun, The Fort and I thought it might be nice to share : )

The Fort is a magazine that focuses on the adventure and imagination involved in photographing the little men in our lives. I was fortunate to meet the lovely Nichole recently through my work with Eye Candy Workshops and she, along with her partner Laura, invited me to share a little of what I know about pesky colour casts, both in camera and in post processing, especially in skintones. So I have shared some tips and tricks and have also shared some video tutorials of me working on some colour casts and exposure issues on this image of Leo.

If you are visiting here for the first time as a reader of The Fort, here are some things you should know about me : )

• I have an obsession with how Photoshop works as an image editing tool though I edit my own images very lightly.
• I am OBSESSED with taking images of my children sleeping (case in point, the image of Leo above). In fact, my husband would say I have a serious problem.
• Instagram and I are very good friends. It is an awesome way to indulge my obsession for images of my sleeping children.
• I am a terrible blogger, and am even worse at using Facebook as a business tool.
• I love picnics with my family and am just as happy cooking pancakes for a picnic in the garage as I am making sandwiches for a picnic at the park.
• My favourite moments are the ones that I would never have anticipated – spontaneous moments of joy that leave my cheeks sore from grinning, my tummy aching from laughing and my arms weak from cuddling. My children and husband give me these moments everyday and I am forever grateful to have them in my life.

Thanks for popping by, I would love to say I promise to blog again soon, but we all know that is likely to be a very big lie ; )

Fran x

Dear DJ,

Yesterday I was single and dreaming of someone like you, yet it feels like forever that I have known you…

Yesterday I was replaying your 1st voice message over and over again, yet it feels like forever that your voice  has been the soundtrack to my life…

Yesterday I was pulling together pieces of random furniture for our first home together, yet it feels like forever that they have defined our space…

Yesterday I was reading out silly baby names for our first child, yet it feels like forever that our gorgeous ones have been here…

Yesterday I was hopeful of a fairytale future and it is forever, ever after, that you came along and gave me…

Nine years, DJ.

It feels like yesterday and forever.

I am forever in love with you.

Happy {wedding} anniversary.

With love, always,

Fran x

This week I had the pleasure of collaborating with a group of talented, passionate and creative woman on a project that takes my breath away… 

Ava’s Tea Party, is to be an annual event,  to celebrate the life of Super-Princess, Ava Rosemeyer, on her birthday, August 22. The Beauty Full Collection is a collection of limited edition printable invitations from some of Australia’s premier paperie designers.  Pulled together by the very clever and crafty women at Details, details!  these beautiful invitations are being sold along side the most precious tea party kits and goodies so that tea parties can happen the World over.   Very generous donations will be made to Paradise Kids  from the proceeds of items sold.  It is such a lovely way to honour the life and birthday of a beauty-full little girl and her family from whom we can all learn an enormous amount. 

I hope you will visit all of the pretty places above and have a tea party of your own.
Put on your tiaras.
Make a daisy chain.
Dance with butterflies.
Drink pink lemonade.
Make a wish.
Be grateful.
Dream.
Spend time.
Together.

With love,

Fran x

There is something magical about watching two little people acquaint themselves.
Especially when they are siblings.
Especially when adoration is present.
Especially when it is clearly evident that they are already known to each other.
By heart.

We have had a lovely couple of days down at my Mum and Dad’s with my sisters and brother in attendance too. We don’t get to do that often enough so it was something to get rowdy about and celebrate. Get my parents, myself and family, and my three siblings together and life is bound to become a little colourful and LOUD.

I was serving up my daughter’s lunch at Mum and Dad’s yesterday when I was delighted to come across my childhood plate. I hadn’t seen it for many years (Mum just found it tucked away in a cupboard) but the memories all came flooding back as soon as I saw the little border of bluebirds, mice and mushrooms. I so vividly remember counting each little animal as I ate my meal and trying to decide which was my favourite. The bluebird most often won the title.

With it’s little bunny motif I thought it was a good post for this weekend. Isn’t it 70’s perfection? I am so grateful to my Mum for keeping little pieces of my baby-ness for me.

We are at home now waiting for friends to drop by for a wee ceilidh (a get together, for the non-Scots that read my blog), Poppy is suitably impressed by the chocolate left by the mystery Easter Bunny and we still have a whole day tomorrow to relax and soak up our togetherness. Life is beautiful and busy – just like a daisy.

Whatever your reasons for celebrating and relaxing this weekend, I hope you have a weekend surrounded by love and happiness.

With love from,

Fran x

We didn’t know until after we bought you that you have a name for yourself in our suburb. The Little Blue Cottage. Much admired in our street for your miner’s cottage character.  “Oh, you live in the little blue cottage. So pretty”.  You are well known and well loved.  Before I knew that, I wanted to paint you. After I knew that, it seemed wrong.

From the moment we stepped into the house we could feel your good past. You had a happy feeling about you. You were brought in from Charters Towers around the turn of the century - early 1900’s. You were a goldfields abode.

We were fortunate to meet the woman who had grown up in you; who lived in you through World War II – in the day when you had an invasion shelter underneath that was shared with others in the neighbourhood. Anna came for a cup of tea one day and showed us her pictures of you with a huge mango tree in the front garden. You were almost obscured and you are now slightly altered but it is still you. You were a happy place to live for her and for us too.

We didn’t change you much but we didn’t need to. We thought you perfect. We put in more airconditioning for the eskimo amongst us. We took down a huge mirror in the second bedroom to discover your original window frame hidden beneath and we used the frame to create a shadow box feature to display images in the space where old window panes had once provided vistas to the outside. We eventually made over your front garden, planting natives and a new weeping tea tree that we hoped one day would give you some of the shade your old mango tree had.

Your verandah is small but is filled with so many happy moments with friends and family. Many parties, barbeques, and quiet Sunday afternoon drinks. Your lounge room holds so many memories, both happy and sad. When I think of some of these moments – the moment the doctor rang to tell us our pregnancy test was positive, the moment my Dad rang to tell us my Pop had passed, the moment DJ’s Dad rang only one month later to tell us his Granny had passed – I realise just how many times we rearranged our lounge room furniture. So vivid are my mental pictures of these moments in you that I can see which way the sofa faced. What was on your walls. Whether there were baby toys present or not.

You were our first home together. We had rented, but you were ours. We brought our first furry friend home to you. Our first baby home to you. Our life was rich. We would like to think that we continued the good history you had and that we are handing you over with more love in the walls.

Today you will be no longer ours. It seems strange, but true.  We can no longer give you the love you need while we are living away from you. Someone else will call you theirs now and that is as it should be. From everything we have heard she loves you – you are her ‘fairy house’. Everything she has dreamed of.

It is with relief and sadness that we hand you over to your new owner. For DJ, more relief than sadness. For me, the relief is peppered with a knot in my tummy and tears.

Goodbye beautiful home.

Fran x